But more than that, and sometimes even before we're interacting, I hate what I sense, what I feel in my gut. He's my kid, and we are connected empathically, intuitively, energetically.
The electromagnetic part of us, the aura, interacts with the world. It senses and it expresses by way of vibrational frequencies. I remember when I was a toddler and I could feel when my dad pulled into our driveway whether he had had a good day or a bad day. If I sensed “grumpy daddy” I would make sure to do something cute and distracting to change his mood so that the evening would be happier. If that failed, I would begin to absorb his unhappy frequency in hopes it would lighten things.
The same thing happens with my addict. When his number shows up on my cell or I pull up to give him a ride to a UA or Drug Court or an occasional meal I can sense whether he is using or sober. It's actually not bad information to have. It prepares me for what I will see or hear. And it helps me stay in my knowingness when he denies that he is using or lies about what he's been doing or not doing.
What I know now that I didn't know with my dad, is what is happening between our energy fields. We are communicating intuitively with each other. And just like I practice setting my verbal and physical boundaries with my addict son, I can set energetic boundaries.
What I know now is that my son's electromagnetic field is doing a jitterbug dance of communication with my field or aura. Most of it is unconscious. And we all do it. I know I am doing the same with him. There are a couple ways we do this:
- Communication Cords – Like telephone wires, we connect vibrational pathways that play a repeating message. When we're not aware of it, it's a lot like being hypnotized. The message might be, “Don't notice I'm high.” or “Please don't abandon me.” The possibilities are endless.
- Pictures – Actually, it's more like pictures that have been photoshopped, because they are psychic images that are meant to manipulate or deceive. They might be pictures of the addict as “fine” (as in don't notice I'm not.) Or a picture of him as your darling little boy. It can also be an energetic picture of desperation or suicide. We see these intuitively and they register in our subconscious and cause us to question our own truth or judgement.
- Whacks – This is the energetic beating we take when we don't do what someone wants us to. We are all capable of “throwing” energy, and we all do it. With our addict loved one, even if we are mentally prepared for the verbal backlash that may come with setting a boundary, we can be blindsided by the energetic whack they may throw at us! It can leave us an emotional wreck, exhausted, confused, and even physically ill.
To be fair, it is not only the addict that uses these tactics. We've all done it at some time, usually unconsciously. Mea culpa. What's important, however, is that we can protect ourselves from these energies!
Listen to this week's “Compass” to learn how to create energetic protection and separation and reclaim your intuition.